Sunday 3 April 2016

Friends across the ocean and the years

We lived in central China in a city called Zhengzhou 21 years ago. Our two little girls were three and five years old at the time. We had a fascinating two years time there and since then our life has been rich and full. We have gone to many fun, different, and exciting things in a variety of places around the world. Our daughters a grown-up. Sarah is now 28, Helen is 27 years old.

Due to my sister Cathy's work on my father's journals and photographs from during the revolution in China, Cathy, Shelley, and I decided to revisit that area in China. More in a later blog.

21 years is a long time. During that time in the early years we kept in touch on a yearly basis with our Chinese friends. That lasted about five years and then slowly we have lost contact. We arrived in the city not really sure when we would see.

We were totally honored, amazed, and thrilled to find many, many friends who still remembered us and more excited to see us. Every day I was there, we ended up with feasts both at lunch and at dinner provided by some other group of friends, or one of the schools that we worked at.

Our visit to China was a reminder to us how Human connection is the glue that keeps the world together. It is our one on one Human caring, laughter, sharing that bridges the gulf created by politics and war.

We often hear about the scary, difficult, harsh, in human actions around the world. China is often in the news about human rights violations.

These series of photographs are our opportunity to share some of the lovely human contacts and friends we have in China. These are faces to the statistics that we all read about or hear about or see in the news.

Mr. Du Ben Li waited two hours at My hotel on the night I arrived to make sure he would see me. He was one of our neighbors and a history lecture at the Chinese communist college. He speaks very little English but really wants to share.


We went on a walk together so that he could show me the astounding changes in China. We walked through an amazing development of 50 story office building's that had been countryside when we were there last.


Our very special friend Wahn Yun Ying,on the right-hand side is our ongoing contact with China. She is part of a multi generational friendship, her father being my father's friend, her being our friend, and her son now friends with our daughters. Xi Xin was a 12-year-old soccer obsessed boy last time we saw him.


Here is a photograph of one of our family dinners at their place that we would have every Sunday dinner. Wang Xun Pu, my father's friend, was alive at the time, living with the family. We would enjoy visiting with them all every week.


Xi Xin is now a well respected surgeon in the cancer hospital. He is expecting his first baby. So lovely to see them all.


On the left-hand side of this next photo is our wonderful friend Cui Li Ping. We met her when she was quite young. She was a 22-year-old university student wanting to use her English to discuss Chinese history, politics, and culture. She helped us with Chinese and we helped her with her English. She introduced us to many fascinating  parts of Chinese history and culture we knew nothing about. 

She is now a full-time marketing professor with a post-doctorate in Shanghai. She travelled six hours specifically to see us.

The background of this photo is new China. All of this did not exist 20 years ago.


This is my sister Cathy, her first trip to China after spending years and years hearing stories us, from my father and researching his work during the revolution. Wang Yun Ying with her apartment across the street. This is definitely old China that we remember.


For years Shelley has treasured memories of her daily Tai Ji Jien sessions with her wonderful friend Zheng Ling. 

Photos from 20 years ago; Shelley had very impressive form then. She really enjoyed her sessions. 




Zheng Ling speaks very little English so Shelley lost contact with her. She asked whether somebody could track her down for our visit. This is the first time they saw each other in 21 years! This reconnection lead to daily morning practice in the park for both of them together.




While standing at the newly renovated gate of the old school we taught at we were thrilled to have the retired principle I used to work for come out and greet us. Then, as a surprise, a young man walking by the street shouted out that I had been his teacher. He went and got his wife and two children to make sure that they would meet me. Here is the family picture. He of course took us out for a fabulous meal.


All of the staff who remembered us came to this sumptuous meal. Check out the happy energy here:




The inside of the school has not changed much since our time:




Here is Mr. Chen, the retired principal, along with a woman we used to call Young Wei because she was one of the young teachers. She is now a very powerful and effective principal of two huge schools. She organized drivers, a guide, and vehicles for us for the next three days of touring at no charge. As she kept saying, we are old friends. No need to pay anything.


Another one of our young, bright teachers Zheng He Ling who is now department head of the brand-new, modern, tourism school that we saw the start up of. We are standing in the alleyway that leads to our old apartment; just as narrow, battered up, dusty, and full of memories as we experienced it.


And of course students are just as excited as they were back then to run into a foreigner at their school!




Check out the brand-new tourism school that was built in the last 20 years. We also taught at the old tourism school with these teachers who all remembered us. As it turns out it is now too small and they are building another brand-new campus to accommodate all of the students.



Once again, we dove into the crowd of students who were thirsty to have the opportunity to practice their English with real live foreigners. These are mainly students who have come from the country-side to build a new life through education and tourism; lovely students!




Amazing the intergenerational connections. This is Nini, one of the girls' playmates in the school-yard. She was four years old when we last saw her. She is now a graduate of the London economics University and will be working in Hong Kong. We connected her with our daughters via Facebook.




The second year that we were in China, we moved to a slightly battered hotel where I was hired to open the first international hotel in the city. It was a Holiday Inn. Shelley taught at the University that year. It was full of problems getting it going because an international hotel was a really challenging thing to do in that area of China at the time. We revisited the hotel. Amazing!





When I went to the front desk in the lobby, I asked to speak to a manager. I spoke to this gentlemen, Peter Li (his English name). He suddenly said: I remember you! I had hired him as a 19-year-old young man from the countryside. He has worked at this hotel ever since. He is now the food and beverages manager, is well-established, and has a family. 


In other blogs we will talk about some of the work done on our family history, on some of the historical pieces of China, and on some of the visits.

 But what really stands out to me as I return to Tokyo is the power and meaning of friendship. Across distance, across time, and across cultures, it is wonderful to be reminded of how important friends are. It is also very humbling to be reminded that we sow what we plant, that every day it is those daily interactions that bring meaning to all of our lives.

To be continued.





1 comment:

  1. I love seeing you, Shelley and Cathy in the Chinese world that was yours and Mom and Dad's those many years ago, and that Cathy now has a chance to visit. I am also glad to have some visuals of the new China.

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